GOLDEN VALLEY, Minn. - Let's face it, in a perfect world we would always be able to get what we want. Clearly that isn't how it works, however, there are some effective ways to getting our needs met. Message Maven, from TruPerception joined us on KARE11 News@4 to share some insights.

Four Simple Steps to Getting What You Want:

1. Defuse the situation. You can’t think clearly when you feel attacked or wronged. And neither can anyone else. So, take a moment to cool down, gain a little perspective and make sure you’re approaching everything from a neutral place.

2. Have a copy bible. So, how do you do that? You create something called a copy bible and you use it when communicating. How you communicate absolutely matters. And too often, people try to wing it. They go into a situation, open up their mouths and hope for the best. I say, pre-plan your words with a copy bible.

3. Use the right vehicle. Next, after you’ve diffused the situation and pre-crafted your message, you choose the right vehicle. Unless it’s your only option, avoid texting as a means of dealing with sensitive situations. Email isn’t always your friend either. But we love text and email. Why? Because it’s easy to hide behind the cyber wall, cross your fingers and hope for the best. Don’t do that.

4. Avoid emotionally charged words. You’ve diffused the situation, you have your copy bible and you’ve delivering the message. The fourth step, when you’re in the midst of it – when you’re in the conversation or written exchange – never resort to using emotionally charged words. Words and phrases like “hate,” “demand,” and “axe to grind” only ignite more controversy and prevent you from getting what you want.

DeLay has a simple philosophy: “We need to be mindful about what we say and how we say it.”

She sums up her story this way: “People don’t know that a resource like me exists and that they have access to the kind of help I can provide. If they get my assistance, their lives are better because they get results.” To sign up for one of DeLay’s workshops, virtual self-study programs, Spill the Truth newsletter and/or learn more about her one-on-one services, visit