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McNiff's Riffs: Walk-off woes, brittle Buxton, and old guys in jerseys

In this edition of McNiff's Riffs Tim talks armchair sports psychology, lends advice to a baseball Hall of Famer, and ponders the wisdom of old, out-of-shape guys wearing sports jerseys.
Credit: Kena Krutsinger
Should there be an age at which dudes should stop wearing pro sports jerseys?

“Walk it off.”

I’m guessing this was one of the very first pieces of unprofessional medical advice ever uttered once the power of speech was acquired.

Credit: Jay Biggerstaff, Jay Biggerstaff
The Twins are getting used to scenes like this, after losing a record number of walk-offs. 

Can’t you see it? A band of early humans is gathered around a fire for warmth when one of them gets a little too close and gets burned. Upon making an assessment of the injured group member, non-licensed early doctor utters three magic words that are destined to be repeated for centuries by future non-doctors. “Walk it off.”

Walk it off.

Three words, each single syllables, easy to say, easy to follow, and depending on the nature of the injury, perhaps easy to do.

I’m not sure how coaches handle their athletes these days, but during my formative years I must have heard coaches and other well-intentioned adults urge me and other injured athletes to “walk it off” hundreds, if not thousands of times.

Hit by a pitch?

Walk it off.

Sacked by an opposing defensive lineman?

Walk it off.

Rolled your ankle playing basketball?

Walk it off.

Dumped by your first crush at the age of 14?

“Get over it, there are plenty of fish in the sea.” Or, of course, “Walk it off.”

I’m not going to point fingers, but my own kids may have received this piece of time-worn advice on occasion. But then my wife does have many other admirable qualities about her…

These days the ones in need of advice are our Minnesota Twins, and now more than ever, my advice is “Walk it off.”

READ: More McNiff's Riffs

Following Tuesday night’s 2-1, 14-inning loss to Kansas City, the Twins have dropped an astounding 8-games in walk-off fashion, meaning their opponent has scored the game winning run in their final at-bat.

Now, this isn’t just bad, this is Minnesota... which means of course it is epic! As I write this column the Twins have tied the 1968 Pittsburgh Pirates and the 2010 Seattle Mariners for the Major League record for most walk-off losses in the first 50 games of a season.

It gets worse.

Of those 8 walk-off losses 6 have come from home runs, which ties the franchise record for a full season. That previous record was largely due to the efforts of one Ron Davis, an unfortunate relief pitcher who surrendered the previous half-dozen all by himself back in 1985. Davis, known as RD or "The big guy with glasses" became an absolute pariah in the process.

Back to the present day Twins... perhaps we should have seen this coming.

If you recall, the Twins dropped their season opener in Baltimore when Adam Jones took Fernando Rodney deep in the bottom of the 11th, giving the O’s a 3-2 walk-off win. That heartbreaker started a phenomenon the Twins just can’t seem to shake.

Now, if 'I’m' sitting at home waiting to see how the Twins are going to lose in walk-off fashion, you KNOW they have to be thinking about the very same thing themselves.

My advice? “Walk it off, boys, walk it off.”

It’s sports, you can’t figure these things out. Play one pitch at a time, one play at a time, one inning at a time and don’t worry about those things you can’t control.

Oh, and score more runs. A lot more runs than you have been. That would go a LONG way to getting yourself out of this vicious losing cycle.

When Buxton comes back let him lead (off).

OK, here’s where people are going to think I’ve lost it... but, here we go.

Twins center fielder Byron Buxton was just placed back on the 10-day disabled list due to continuing issues with the big toe on his left foot, which he fractured about a month ago. It's just the latest physical issue with Buxton in what has been, to this point, yet another season of frustration where this super-talented athlete is concerned.

Credit: Joe Nicholson, Joe Nicholson
Tim's respectful advice to Twins skipper Paul Molitor? Put  Byron Buxton in the leadoff spot and keep him there. 

Buxton is one of those guys who we’ve been waiting to become a star for years, and last year it seemed like he finally arrived. A mid-season adjustment to his swing launched Byron and the Twins into their 2017 post-season push. In the 2nd-half of last season Buxton batted .300, hit 8-doubles, 5-triples and 11-home runs, while cutting down his strikeouts from 87 to 63.

This is the difficult part of the Buxton dilemma, because I am about to dispense baseball advice to Paul Molitor (which I am obviously not qualified to do). One of us is a former All-American, Major League All-Star, World Series MVP, Hall of Famer and reigning American League Manager of the Year. The other claims to have been a really, really good whiffle ball player and even that is in dispute.

Yet here I go.

Stop messing around with Buxton, put him in the leadoff spot, and leave him there.

The Twins have tried Joe Mauer at leadoff this season, but not Byron Buxton?

Seriously?

Buxton is a leadoff hitter and he needs to hear that. Every day. It’s my belief that people will be whatever you tell them they are. Of course, there are limitations: Nobody is ever going to tell me that I am the most dominant post player in basketball and I’m going to go out and dominate in the paint. Not at 5’-8” and 55-years of age.

But in Buxton’s case, he not only has the skill set but truly elite speed and athletic ability. Just tell him that he is your everyday leadoff hitter, no matter what. Love him up and see what happens.

It can’t be any worse than having him hit .156 in the 9-spot, right?

Is there a cutoff age for wearing a sports jersey?

I’m only asking this question for a friend…

I was at the liquor store Saturday when something caught my eye... and it was not good. The temps were in the mid 90’s and there was a guy buying beer who just barely qualified where the “No shirt, no shoes, no service!” policy is concerned.

At some point, guys should  just say 'so long' to the sports jersey thing. 

I would guess the man in question was in his 30’s, and he was stuffed into a well-worn Shawn Kemp Seattle Supersonics jersey that BARELY covered his pale, puffy, soon-to-be-sunburned body to the point where I was beyond doing a double-take... I was staring.

I remember wishing that somehow the real Shawn Kemp could be with me to see the guy. I could just imagine the “Rain Man” looking at this dude and asking him if he had somebody else’s jersey he could wear?

The sad Kemp Jersey looked like it had been worn a couple thousand times before, and I totally get that. I love clothes I’m comfortable in, but in this case it looked like he had outgrown this faded relic at least a decade ago.

Which gets me to my real question.

Is there an age when it’s just a good idea to give up on the whole 'wearing a jersey' thing?

Does it depend on the jersey and sport?

I mean, if the guy had been wearing a Wild sweater (more coverage) vs. a basketball jersey, would I even be asking this question?

Years ago when I heard the Twins were going to change their road uniforms away from the gray with blue pinstripes with the arched “Minnesota” in red across the chest, I asked for and received a jersey. I always thought the Twins road uniforms of the late 80’s and 90’s were beautiful, and pictured myself wearing it frequently.

Truth is I’ve rarely slipped it on.

I can’t imagine wearing a jersey while out with my wife unless we were going to an actual game, and I’m quite certain my daughters wouldn’t be seen with me unless it was under similar circumstances.

And then there's this... when I see how much these things cost I’m always amazed that so many people have them. Maybe it’s gotten to the point where when you go to a game, you’re expected to be wearing the home team's colors.

I wanted to say something to the guy in the liquor store. I mean he REALLY looked ridiculous. My guess is his reply would have left me wishing I had kept my big mouth shut.

Which is exactly what I did.

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